2	GIC, THE Government of Singapore Investment Corporation, Asia, News, The Straits Times,

I am disgusted that The Straits Times has been under-praising the hard working folks at the Government of Singapore Investment Corporation (GIC); surely their strong work ethic and devotion to their job at losing money is worthy of more adoration and adulation from every Singaporean’s favourite newspaper monopoly.

Just imagine what will happen if the folks at the GIC did not do anything and just loafed around in the office all day - we will suddenly find ourselves richer by 59 billion dollars. The consequences of this are most dire: we could have drowned while swimming around in the pool of decadent money, emulated the worst excesses of the French Revolution, and became western liberals and puppets of the neo-colonialist imperialists. What a preposterous scenario!

Thankfully, such a horrendous situation has been averted under the wise direction of the PAP government.  Alerted to the threats of having too much money, the PAP has wisely instructed GIC to rid Singapore of the excess money that has been clogging up the arteries of the rugged Singaporean migrant that has become too rich (and lazy) for his own good. What else did you expect? That we have lost 59 billion out of pure accident? Don’t be silly, the PAP knows everything. Being infallible, how can it have lost 59 billion unless it is by some contrived design too complicated for mere mortals to understand? Make no mistake about this – the PAP government makes no mistake.

The virtues of our one-party system needs not be extolled further. We must now resume to look again at the focus of this article - that The Straits Times has failed to praise our GIC enough. The title of the offending title is “GIC loses money on New York project” and some of its shocking contents are as follows:

“THE Government of Singapore Investment Corporation (GIC) has suffered losses investing in a prime New York property project after the American owners defaulted on a debt payment last Friday.

The exact size of the hit has not been disclosed but GIC is said to have invested a total of US$675 million (S$925 million) in Manhattan's Stuyvesant Town and Peter Cooper Village.

It confirmed to The Straits Times yesterday that it had 'recognised the losses' on its investment last year.”

The Straits Times has not adequately emphasised the most important part of this, which is that the GIC has of course predicted that its bid to lose money will be a success since last year. Did the news of their loss come as a surprise for them? No of course not, everything is under the control of their prescient mind.

And The Straits times also failed to emphasis another important point. Observe.  GIC was considerate enough not to disclose its successful attempt at losing money until today, despite of being privy to the knowledge since last year. The GIC has done an excellent job at keeping information out of the hands of the Singaporean peasants whom do not understand the understandable need to lose money; the masses are too ignorant to understand the grand plans laid in store for our nation and grasp the larger scale of things. Please, Straits Times reporter, give the GIC credit where it is due.

“Analysts estimate that GIC, which is one of the New York properties' biggest investors, manages a portfolio of between US$200 billion and US$300 billion globally. Real estate investments made up 12 per cent of its asset mix, according to its annual report for the year ended March 31, 2009.”

Of course, the masses must still realise that what has been lost is mere peanuts, and a loss or two here there and there is entirely necessary. The Straits Times should really make it more clear instead of dropping subtle hints between the lines that a loss of 925 m is nothing in the grander scheme of things.

“GIC's portfolio slumped more than 20 per cent in Singapore-dollar terms for that financial year but it said last September that it has since recovered more than half of those losses”

But not to worry, of course, in the long run all the losses will be recovered. Under the omniscient rule of the PAP, as has been stressed many times but never over-emphasised enough by The Straits Times, everything is under control. Go back and sleep tonight, everything is okay. And oh don’t forget to vote for everyone's favourite omnipotent party in the next election!